His last day of (his last year of) preschool.

Today was D-Bop’s last day of (his last year of) preschool. Which means next year he is going to kindergarten.

A surprise for this super nostalgic mama is that now that we are here, I think I am ready for it.

Let’s stop for a minute and let me explain a few (TOTALLY MAJOR) developments …

As you know, I really tried to make my relationship with LAUSD work. I toured 19 schools. I applied to 12 charter schools. And in the end, while we still have a “good chance” at getting into a couple of schools based on our wait list number, we never got an actual acceptance letter and kindergarten starts in 2 months. We did get into one charter school in Woodland Hills, but it wasn’t one of the super progressive charter schools that I had fallen in love with.

So as I sat in my room listening to Elastic Heart on repeat and wallowing in my shared misery with Shia LaBeouf, this control freak finally decided enough is enough and that it was time to take matters into my own hands. (Ok, maybe it wasn’t QUITE like that. More like endless talks with MacDaddy EVERY SINGLE NIGHT FOR TWO MONTHS STRAIGHT about whether we should move or not.)   We both realized that sometimes you need to pick up on the cues, realize he’s just not that into you, and move on…

So we did. (“We” being MacDaddy and me…I think Shia may still be wallowing.)

So we are in the process of selling our house and buying a new one that is, wait for it, outside of LAUSD. And believe it or not, the decision wasn’t entirely school driven—we fell in love with an area that happens to be outside of LAUSD. So yes, Mac Daddy was right—we are totally going to be sending our littles to a school that I never even toured.

Crazy eyes

But who needs a tour when you have a beautiful website explaining in depth about their mission, their beliefs, their extracurricular activities and all of their incredible achievements? (Well, me… but I called literally 1 hour after they completed their last tour of the year, so moving on.)

So I think that’s why I’m finally ok saying good-bye to preschool. I’m so excited for what lies ahead, and now that I know where we are landing, I truly cannot wait.

Last week D-Bop and I visited the (ridiculously beautiful and almost brand new) school to pick up the registration packet. After 9 months of searching, I couldn’t wait to show him his kindergarten. But my brave, outgoing, super social boy had a different agenda—he was ABSOLUTELY TERRIFIED. He hid behind me the entire time that I spoke to the office manager because rumor has it that principals are mean (who is even telling him this?!) and he thought she was the principal. Later when we walked around the school, he literally jumped into my arms when the upper grade kids walked past us to go to lunch. This would be completely normal for most kids, but D-Bop is the kid that will go up to ANYONE anywhere and befriend them and tackle them, if they’ll let him, even if they are twice his size. So needless to say, I was shocked.

I later learned that he had no idea all the “big kids” were going to be there at his school because all anyone has ever talked about is kindergarten. Which of course makes sense. And what a shock going from a school of 20 kids total to a school with 400+ kids all different ages.

While my heart seriously hurt for him and I tried to take on his fear, in a weird way this entire experience made me feel better. Next to those big kids, he looked so small. And it reminded me that he really needs me. Even if he is almost a preschool graduate, he’s still just a little… even if at times he seems like a grown up, especially next to all those little tiny littles at his preschool.

I’m going to miss our sweet little preschool that was such a safe and magical place for my boy. I am forever grateful to the school and the wonderful teachers that took such good care of my boy and our family over the past 3 years. But I’m sooooo excited for what lies ahead. I think D-Bop is going to have a blast in kindergarten and onward.

So here we are—last day of preschool and preschool graduation and I’m totally fine. It’s time for my boy to move on and to continue to grow and develop in a new safe place.

President OMama closes her laptop, and Cookie walks up to her. Out of the blue Cookie looks her mother in the eyes and says, “Mama, I no baby anymore. I big girl!”

President OMama bursts into tears and opens her laptop again. 

I wasn’t quite ready for that.